turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

(via the-misguided-companion)

priest-of-rage:

bedquest:

dear fucking tumblr

this is a fucking bumblebee

image

this is a fucking bee

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this is a fucking hornet

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this is a fucking wasp

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as you can fucking see the longer their legs are and the less fuzzy they are is equivalent to how fucking evil they fucking are

I feel like I just watched a step by step pokemon evolution

(Source: leatherh0ff, via silentandfriendly)

gay8:

gay8:

gay8:

my parents split after they made me. i am a volcano. they are tectonic plates. follow for more geological humour.

i really hope the two people who just followed me aren’t looking for geological humour or you are going to be earth-shatteringly disappointed

this post is one of my best by a landslide

(via live-as-you-feel)

dennys:

sprawlerr:

why does dennys have a tumblr

why do you

(via the-whovian-nightingale)

condom:

don’t tell me to calm down I’ll throw a fucking desk at your face

(via excessivelylongfandomreference)

saddeer:

zkac:

what’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination?

HAAAAAAAAAND EYEEEEEEEEEE

i hate this i hate u 

(via faffy-waffle)

antoinettemalificus:

jetblueivy:

drive thru employees
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definitely
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do not
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get paid
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enough
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for
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this
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shit
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they are sick of your nonsense
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I lost my fucking shit at the fish and scared the shit out of my cat!! I am crying!! 

(via 900yearsofconsultingtheimpala)